Breastfeeding truths

Breastfeeding has borderline drove me to insanity. I can’t cope. Three years I’ve been doing this. Three fucking years.

I know some women will read this and think that maybe it’s an awful way to think. Some women will read this and think fucking hell three years that’s a long time!

I just don’t care to do it anymore. Except when my baby is poorly then I appreciate it for everything that it is. Comfort, medicine, nourishment, and fluid. I wish it was something that I could always have on tap for when it’s truly needed. I’m not saying that breast after 6 months or 1 years of age breast milk isn’t needed but a child can and will survive without it if need be.

So why do I feel guilty every time I want to give up? And why do I call it giving up? Why not end of a journey...

It’s completely my own mind and issues for the reasons I see it as giving up. Nobody around me would feel any type of negative way about it. But I would. I’d carry so much guilt. You probably think I’m being dramatic because my daughter is almost 18 months. It’s not like she’s minus 6 months or anything!

But I’d feel guilty because I know she wants it so much. I’d feel guilty because I breastfed her older brother for way longer! I’d feel guilty because I’m ‘giving up’ for selfish reasons.

I don’t know if I will stop breastfeeding anytime soon. But I’d love to hear from people who weaned their babies off boobie. My eldest weaned himself and so the transition was easy for both of us.

I can’t handle it anymore, the day feeds, she takes so much of my energy and nutrition. She’s damaging my posture. She hurts my nipples. She makes me feel all touched out. She makes me constantly hungry. She makes me angry, irritated and sad. She makes me tired. She makes my hormones fluctuate like never before. She makes me feel guilty because I know for her it’s a form of love.

Images courtsey of my trusty tripod and upcoming photographer, my son, Roman, aged 3!!!